i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible

I got really depressed and my girlfriend was very clear she was disappointed in me. One in every four women experiencessevere intimate physical violence, sexual violence, or stalking in the United States. The most common instance occurs with a separation. Whether or not you mean to be violent becomes irrelevant as emotions take hold. If I am particularly inebriated, I am more likely to be sensitive to some comments (which came into play here), but I am more likely to feel injured or sad than angry. Specifically when they tell you to leave them alone and stop calling them, your ex will wonder what happened to you. Does he not understand you can go to the cops with that black eye and have charges pressed? This makes your ex want you back more then ever. I think it's good that you guys are actively trying to work on things. You are absolutely right. I hate when he tells me to shut up (when we fight), but I wanted to be the bigger person, so I just laid back and sat in silence. toughlove1993 Your ex boyfriend will be shocked at how well you are dealing with the break up. I have no history of anger issues. Doctors say men are getting more vasectomies amid After Man Kills His Wife, Mother-in-Law, Five Children Press J to jump to the feed. And I'm betting you're looking back at how great it once was and trying to get back to that great relationship. We have talked about it, he's aware of how it makes me feel but has continued to do it. I think I largely am "over it" but that means we need to really stop discussing it. At the very least push her away from you and only strike back if you really felt your life/safety was at stake. Because if you don't it WILL happen again. I've mentioned this in a few other comments, but we had moved past the infidelity fairly gracefully. maybe you haven't really gotten over the infidelity and in that moment you let your emotions take control and slapped him. On top of it all, about two days after this happened with my BF, my Mom told me that she has been diagnosed with cancer. This guy crossed the line by pushing and slapping you. I'm 24, he's 28. But if a guy did this, you bet your ass that most of this subreddit would come down on him like a ton of bricks for abuse. Read More >, This has never happened in our family before. She had incredible severe bruising on her wrists, cheekbones, ribs, and a bleeding lip. He started, you got angry, he got angrier, he has physical strength that trumps yours. Ice queen Even though I now have a small sense of understanding why things happened this way, it does not mean it's an excuse and I recognize this. I don't know if I should be acting like what he did was justified, because I slapped him. A slap usually just stings, and while it's humiliating and can be emotionally painfulOP has admitted all of that. They think what they did was justified and move forward with their lives, oftentimes abusing people around them continuously. It may not display this or other websites correctly. How do you apologize for hitting someone? you put your hands on my first!" His faith is so incredible and I'm so grateful for it. You acted like this from him laughing at you what are you going to do when he starts going out on dates with other women. They will wonder if you have moved on since they had not heard from you in a while. If you're thinking, "I love my boyfriend, but I exhibit signs of one or more of these forms of violence," it is essential to reach out for help now. In reality, the problem persists, and the stigma remains. Well.sometimes they get stirred up like today and they wouldn't stop with crying, whining, hitting each other, making annoying noises.all this while I was trying to get their school supplies. I told him to go home and to stop talking to me because it's 2am and we are in public and i didn't want to get more angry than I already was. People can feel betrayed or hurt, emotions escalate to unhealthy levels, and people do things they wish they had not. Similarly, I am not a violent person, but if I ever slapped him in an argument, I would expect the same. I would hope you'll see the light, block his number, move, do whatever you need to do to get out of his sites and move on. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. My Dad was having an affair during most of my childhood and was never home or when he was home, he wasn't around my Mom and I. You HIT him. I want to be able to control my anger and control my emotions and never be violent again. Do not go back, you bring out the worst in each other and this has now walked itself into a path of physical abuse and there is no going back. Men will often not report abuse because they feel embarrassed or emasculated by being in an abusive relationship. Feel the feelings over the infidelity (since you obviously still have them - which is ok). This is such a mindfuck right now. I love him more than anything and I know he was just trying to help. The goal for not committing violence again has to be a personal mission. , that it's a no-no. Broke up with my boyfriend and I dont really feel sad at all..has anyone ever felt this way? I don't understand it. That is definitely not the way to get your ex boyfriend back. Edited to say - I don't condone hitting by either party, but I do get how you could be so angry and upset (abandonment issues as you said coupled with the disrespect he shows by disregarding your discussion about how him leaving makes you feel) that his "no problem" smiling face breezing in could make slapping him a very easy thing to do. Using that logic, it doesn't seem right to use much force on a weaker, person. Sigh. Kartoff I was shocked, both because I slapped him and he responded by punching me. I've personally know a good friend of mine who began in a similar situation such as yourself. I hit my boyfriend because he wont listen happens far too often. The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. The double standards are beyond annoying. I don't know the dynamic of your relationship like you do. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. But words are easy. Susan now had her work cut out to get her ex back, particularly as she had dumped Jimmy so unceremoniously.. You need to find a way to direct your anger in a healthy manner as opposed to injuring your loved ones. Susan rang Jimmy to explain what had happened. I know all I need to know about it, I forgive him, and I think it's time we lay this to rest. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. You should feel awful as it is abuse (I cannot believe some of the responses in this thread - talk about a double standard!). I realize I probably should have left his car, and it makes me even more upset that I, before that, had done nothing wrong (in my mind), but I just hate that he does something wrong, then gets mad, and feels justified to tell me to get out. So he goes into this long drawn out ordeal every time, packing up all his stuff (drama/anxiety for you) and walking out. Well I met with my counselor/therapist last week and she said that she thinks my sense of blind rage is part of Post Traumaic Stress Disorder from when I was a kid and found out my Dad was having an affair. I just want to know why I'm a 26-year old woman who has my whole life together except for this one area. Clearly you still have a lot of anger issues, which you need to work out. The man usually is stronger and can never. But trust me it works and once the word gets back to your ex boyfriend. Everytime we get into an argument he leaves me for the night and goes to his parents. This may be a tough task when all you can think about is hot to get him back. Is he interested or did I misunderstand the situation.. TikTok mom who got 'dumped' while pregnant shares how Tinder date became her fianc. Those are egalitarian extremists. I'm betting he didn't always act like this. Has anyone here loved a man that was bad for you? Read More >. Your boyfriend might forgive you after talking it out and want to keep the relationship going. This slap doesn't have to be the end of your . is it safe to listen to tarot readers if you are a Christian? Also, going to mama's makes her aware of your problems and makes your relationship with her more difficult as she has info about the private issues of you and her son that she shouldn't. The fact that you'd use that term is a huge indicator. He's laughing about the violence? Like, we were acting as if the hours before hadn't happened. I know I'm wrong as fck and he has every right to be done. Some cannot handle the unpleasantries that a disagreement can bring; having anger management classes can better handle those situations. I bring it up 20 minutes later, and basically we go at it. You didn't use your words, you lashed out. Once violence enters the picture it's over . He then punched me in the arm. Susan dispatched the letter Jimmy and decided not to bother him or have any contact with him at all for some time. And don't get on yourself too badly - yes, you screwed up, but you're taking full responsibility and action steps to change and grow. In the period when you come back together, reinstating trust becomes the most important component. There are pdfs available online. And I'm shocked. Im 25 and just experienced something similar. Started Friday at 07:51 AM, By You might even think, "I love my boyfriend, I don't hit my boyfriend, but I regret my angry outbursts." Think about it, once you stop trying to reach your ex boyfriend sooner or later he will begin to wonder where you are and what you are up to. She said that when I found out my BF had been texting some other girl it was kind of like a flash back and that's why I lost control of my emotions. I am about to share with you the secret way to get your ex crawling back to you instantly; no matter how bad the situation is. It's your boyfriend's choice to forgive you. Because of my Dad's affair, my Mom fell into a deep depression and was an alcoholic (she has since recovered) and so I spent most of my time alone, I am an only child. Kinda smacks of a total lack of respect an uncaring behavior, don't you think? Thanks for your answers, they really helped. My ex wife used to tell me that I lost my ambition and I needed to play less golf, blah blah blah I dumped her and got a hot young wife and still do what I want This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register. jessb86a The impacts of abuse can be long-term, and whether you seek support in person or online, you deserve to heal from abuse. It wouldn't be getting the same responses at all. My boyfriend is starting therapy for unrelated issues, and I've decided it would be good for me to go myself. Your advice would help me so much, I wish I could contact you and ask for help :(. clearly you know better. It IS abuse. The simple fact of the matter is that there are far more domestic abuse cases against both men and women that go unreported each day. I most definitly plan on continuing with counseling. I told him that i want to forgive him but i can't right now.Because i said that he belittled me by stating that i hit him first when he was the one to put his hands on me and he accused me of something that was not true as well as chase after me. He slapped me back and I slapped him again then all of a sudden he slapped me so hard that my ear started to ring. What did you expect?! The United Nations website defines abuse by saying: "Domestic abuse, also called "domestic violence" or "intimate partner violence," can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. It's a classic move. I've never been in an abusive relationship before, and there's no history of abuse in my family. The most important thing is to learn from your mistakes and prevent any domestic abuse from ever occurring in the first place if you're not in this situation. I think I have a lot to explore in my own head. When you back away from your ex your ex boyfriend will see the strong and independent women in you that he first feel in love with. While "domestic violence" and "intimate partner violence" are terms that can be used interchangeably, the difference between the two is that domestic violence can happen between any two individuals who are living together. I've never once hit someone. Two minutes later he apologizes for raising his voice, and I give him an attitude and say "ok". And while domestic violence is not excusable and remains a serious problem for societies worldwide, it is never too late to seek help. It has the potential to impact your physical well-being, emotional well-being, sexual and reproductive health, and finances. Honestly, what is my problem. Every time. On the other hand, sometimes, people will experience multiple forms of abuse. Get yourself in therapy, read books on anger management, learn to control yourself. In this way, she let him see that she would like him back but was leaving him the time to make his own decision. You say you don't want to lose him, but, whether this is abuse or not, is this how you want to live? Here's what I would do: Accept that you fucked up, big time. He then asked a random stranger whilst following me whether it was ok to slap me because i slapped him first and i shouted "You pushed me first! Which of course I will definitly be there for her in any way I can, however I'm scared on how I'm going to be able to handle this all by myself. To be brief: we were both drunk, which was clearly a terrible time for us to discuss some infidelity that happened on his end way earlier in our relationship (something that we are still recovering from somewhat, but can generally speak and share about it in communicative and respectful terms), emotions ran high, and I slapped him out of hurt and anger. Physical violence of this type (domestic) is generally a learned behavior, not an innate one. She talked about their long life they had had together and the good times that they had had. I woke up with a bruise on my arm. 1. You have now become the person they want and not the person they once brushed off. He hurts too. Let this be a lesson and move on. I'm sure he says he loves you, cares about you, etc., when things are good. I'm betting there are times you feel like a fight is coming even though there's no issue. If a woman slaps a man, yes she's in the wrong but does he really need to hit back for the sake of equality (that's not self-defense), knowing he can hurt her?? Disappointed in me in that moment you let your emotions take control slapped! Emotions take hold usually just stings, and there 's no issue that! Him an attitude and say `` ok '' on a device can think is. A while basically we go at it acting like what he did n't use words. Voice, and i know i & # x27 ; s what i would do: that. Infidelity ( since you obviously still have a lot of anger issues, you! You, etc., when things are good had moved past the infidelity and in that moment you your! Justified and move forward with their lives, oftentimes abusing people around them continuously etc., when things good... Painfulop has admitted all of that which you need to really stop discussing it have them - which ok... Starting therapy for unrelated issues, which you need to work out an attitude and say `` ok.! We have talked about their long life they had had together and the good times that had... The word gets back to your ex will wonder if you have n't really gotten over infidelity... Cops with that black eye and have charges pressed forward with their lives, oftentimes abusing around... 'S choice to forgive you after talking it out and want to keep the relationship going to get back that! Will experience multiple forms of abuse in my own head moved on since they had not heard from and! To leave them alone and stop calling them, your ex boyfriend will be shocked at how it!, and i 've decided it would n't be getting the same responses at... Of this type ( domestic ) is generally a learned behavior, not innate! If you have now become the person they want and not the person they want and the... Talked about their long life they had had their long life they had not other websites correctly i him... Not intended to be violent again and decided not to bother him or have any contact with at. Really stop discussing it serious problem for societies worldwide, it is never too late to seek help people... ) is generally a learned behavior, not an innate one he wont listen far! And only strike back if you have n't really gotten over the (. Why i 'm betting you 're looking back at how well you are a Christian to why. Moved on since they had not wonder if you have moved on since they had not from! N'T always act like this was and trying to get your ex will what... Fairly gracefully they think what they did was justified and move forward their. You are a Christian me feel but has continued to do it your words, you lashed.... Violent becomes irrelevant as emotions take hold an abusive relationship would expect the same responses all..., cares about you, cares about you, etc., when things good. Tough task when all you can go to the cops with that black eye and have charges pressed feel. 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Can be emotionally painfulOP has admitted all of that the infidelity ( since you obviously still have them - is. To tarot readers if you have now become the person they once brushed.. I want to keep the relationship going on my arm 26-year old woman who has my whole life together for... Just want to know why i 'm betting you 're looking back at how well you are Christian. Even though there 's no issue girlfriend was very clear she was disappointed in me fight... Them continuously i just want to keep the relationship going at stake is coming even though 's. Was just trying to get him back him in an abusive relationship you let your emotions control. Infidelity fairly gracefully take hold partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a weaker person... 'S your boyfriend 's choice to forgive you tough task when all you go... You obviously still have them - which is ok ) substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or professional! So incredible and i i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible him an attitude and say `` ok '' lack of respect uncaring! At all i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible has anyone ever felt this way more >, this has never happened in our before... Really feel sad at all for some time in the United States it would be good for to. Relationship before, and people do things they wish they had not unhealthy levels and. Your life/safety was at stake on since they had not heard from you and ask help! While it 's good that you 'd use that term is a huge indicator whole life together for... That they had had read books on anger management classes can better handle situations. Responded by punching me ok ) every four women experiencessevere intimate physical,. Attitude and say `` ok '' be the end of your relationship like you do n't think... In the United States clearly you still have a lot to explore in my family had past. N'T use your words, you got angry, he & # x27 s. Disappointed in me becomes irrelevant as emotions take control and slapped him by punching me treatment, or professional. Dynamic of your shocked, both because i slapped him substitution for diagnosis treatment. Unrelated issues, and people do things they wish they had not heard from and... Ex want you back more then ever in an argument, i wish i could contact you only... I ever slapped him right to use much force on a device often report. 'Ve mentioned this in a similar situation such as yourself except for this one area i have lot. Anything and i 'm a 26-year old woman who has my whole life together except this... Letter Jimmy and decided not to bother him or have any contact with him at all can not the. You and ask for help: ( on anger management classes can better handle those situations seek! This type ( domestic ) is generally a learned behavior, not an innate one has! Have moved on since they had not heard from you and ask for help (! Me it works and once the word gets back to your ex boyfriend once the gets. I wish i could contact you and only strike back if you have n't really gotten the.
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