- Bill Clinton. You snuff 'em, we stuff 'em. Why are apartments called apartments when they are all stuck together? So there's no reason at all to feel ashamed if you're someone who smokes weed. Example #5: Or you can put a humorous spin on an interesting fact. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." Bye. It's medically prescribed; doctor says I need tar in my lungs. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. The penguin says, "No, that's just ice cream.". 10. Theres still time for things to go horribly wrong. "Hey, what happened to the smoke shop that used to be next door? Nice and dandy, like cotton candy. All rights reserved. 10. Why is hopscotch named as such? Had a lot of family over and the wife prepared the meal. You're so full of shit I'll bet you make every toilet jealous. Oh, such discerning eyes. Because it wouldve been really difficult having this conversation while driving. If they are rolling their eyes on you, say: "Yeah, keep rolling your eyes. Are you a man or a woman? His high sch, Two firemen are "going at it" (sex) in a smoke filled room. aint nobody got time for dat! After a while they saw him smoking one cigarette only and they asked him: so your brother is out of the jail? As he was walking through hell in despair, he met The Devil for the first time. They immediately ran off. How you manage to get your foot in your mouth and your head so far up your ass is beyond me. When someone bumps into you or steps on your foot, mutter, "You wouldn't do that if you knew who I was.". Funny Responses to "How Are You?" If you are just looking for a funny answer to the question, "How are you?", then these are bound to work well. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. I would explain it to you, but I don't have the time for the crayons! And, as the following fire puns and jokes prove, it can even be funny. Theres nothing wrong with that. You kill 'em, we fill 'em. I can't stand high maintenance women. Dont ask because its too early to tell. But no wishing anyone, including yourself, off the island.". Thats for me to know and you to find out. I can't deal with high maintenance women, "Wisdom is yours," says the angel, disappearing in another puff. Learn more about Box of Puns. 21. Nurse: looks to my mom He was sadly nearly crushed by the tractors wheels when he fell out of the cab, and the experience so traumatised him. At length one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something." 3. Ten minutes later, I landed at Birmingham Airport. 8. Jokes on them, the smoke detector thought it was fire. But you, yours steals the show every time. 16. She brought it up to me and and I told her I did not quite feel the same way. Thanks for your advice, now **** off. Acquaintances and strangers ask that question to greet you, so you should do the same. Show him, there are many out there. By clicking Accept All, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. Old Man Smoking Big Cigar Funny Picture. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. - You smoke? What do you call a Scotsman who smokes weed ? ", "why did we take off so late?" How much do you cost? I'll go first. Lily James sips bubbly through a straw and is forced to STAND in the car due to huge dress as she offers a candid behind the scenes look at the Golden Globes. If you shop inside the stock market is it stocked with fruits and vegetables? Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. But for now, if you do smoke just be aware of where and when you're doing it. This post is dedicated to all of them. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? *"Yes. Here are some comebacks for you that would save you a lot of time and effort! 7. Overcome by loneliness, he mutters, "I wish my friends were here.". Am I? "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. They try to get free but the more they struggle, the more tangled they become. 22. Unfortunately, marijuana still has not legalized everywhere, but we're making small steps toward getting there every day, and hopefully, one day soon access to marijuana will be legal and far easier. "Who me, I don't think so.". January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. If a car is able to meet all of these criteria, then it can safely stop at a bus stop. But when I asked if anyone had papers, they all ran off. The guy responds theres a genie at the end of the bar and hes granting wishes. The bartender looks down on this travesty and shakes his head. 1 "I'm Driving" This is the ultimate excuse. "It's a condom," replies the grandson, sheepishly. Hold on a second. Then he says, "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year. ", "Scientists say marijuana lowers your body temperature, in other words smoking pot does make you cool. He sits down and orders a beer and takes out a smoke, he asks the guy sitting next to him for a light and is handed a giant lighter. Because it would've been really difficult having this conversation while driving. I just have silicon. You set my heart on fire. He kills time walking around the mall, does some window shopping, buys an ice cream cone, etc. Stupiditys not a crime, so feel free to go. 1 cigarette per day c. 2-5 cigarettes per day d. 6-10 cigarettes per day e. 11-20 Where's the fire? No Smoking Funny Sign Image. He slides into bed,cuddles up to his wife, says "123" and suddenly he has the most gigantic stiffie ever, just as the medicine man promised. Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? If I don't get it everyday, I get a headache." I totally understand now why you feel that way. I did not inhale.". He said: no, I stopped smoking. The zoo is closed today, and you wanted to let me know before I got there? When their sexts hit back-to-back, and you want them to know there's only way this ends if they keep saying all the right things. ", "I'm not smoking any more, but I ain't smoking any less. I said no; I can't deal with high maintenance women. All of a sudden his engine starts running really rough, and smoke is coming from under the hood. Two guys are out fishing on a boat when one of them wants to have a smoke. says the angel and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. [removed] I can't wait to reach that moment. Top 10 Funniest Smoke Jokes and Puns Still my favorite joke I ever made up. Its a question that comes up daily. As I passed, he said, "Excuse me, I don't suppose you have a spare cigarette I can have?". Example 2: Answer for someone who used to smoke and no longer does Here's an example of how to answer if you no longer smoke/drink: "I used to be a heavy smoker, but I quit three years ago when I was pregnant with my son. I don't think you're that bad. But, it doesnt continue the conversation. Do you enjoy getting high more than just occasionally? the bartender asks. No. I also really like her style she always looks so put together and classy. I understand what you're saying, but if I agreed with you, then we'd both be wrong. The medicine man says, "I can cure this." Shhh! Upright and sucking air. Guess my age. So saying sincerely,"Yes, I am having fun" is not really true and will come off sarcastically. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. All you have to do is say '123,' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!" Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Om Edibles. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Man, no wonder everyone talks about you behind your back. Plus, its worth noting that not all fires are bad. Siri: I'm a pearl beyond price. One researcher says that people who described feeling humiliated said that they felt "wiped out, helpless, confused, sick in the gut, paralyzed, or filled with rage. I told her no. And, as the following fire puns and jokes prove, it can even be funny. What did the flame say to his buddies after he fell in love? 2: I have a personal genie. Everyone's entitled to acting stupid every once in awhile, but you're abusing that privilege. Below you can find some example responses to a bad review. ", "A list of reasons why you should stop smoking weed. So far, its a nightmare. We suggest to use only working smoke fire smoke piadas for adults and blagues for friends. One prostitute turned to another and asked Yolanda, do you smoke after sex? If you want to smoke weed every day, just do it! We are always looking for new and weird things to add to our list! December 6, 2012 in Jokes & Funny Stuff. It is kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and my ears started ringing, I once watched a couple of cows smoke weed and play poker, I was going to smoke a cigar on International Womens Day. The lie detector determined that was true, in fact your blood type is THC. I'm going to be wearing an awful sweater too. This response is also great role modeling for others and furthers the important message to sober behind the wheel. He asked the monastery superior about it. When the smoke clears, he sees no bear. you let your 12yr old daughter smoke in front of her kids. Slowed progression of Alzheimer's disease. But what these people tend to overlook is the fact that smoking marijuana actually has many benefits and the majority of those benefits have to do with improving your health! 11. There are two identical twin brothers that live together. Please cancel my subscription to your issues. Gertrude is confused and Beatrice explains that it keeps the cigarette from getting wet. Between the inevitable dad jokes and your kiddos silly stories, have you squeezed in any time to think about how that fire occurred? The bear taps him on the shoulder and says: bend over or I eat you. ", And when they say "did she smoke her whole life" I say "no, but she was real good at minding her own business". *"Yeah I know. Thank heavens for brown cows otherwise there wouldnt be any chocolate milk. Since basketball is named such why isnt golf named golfball? 6. "well the pilot noticed some smoke and weird noises coming from the left engine and it took us a while to find another pilot willing to fly this plane.". I haven't had a cigarette in 10 years but my wife is up to two packs a day. After all, in the bible it says "if a man lies with another man, he should be stoned.". If there are people around you who try to put you down for it, f*ck them. The man then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to continue?" "The real difference between edibles and smoking or vaping is that with edibles, a much larger fraction of Delta-9-THC makes it to the liver first. It seems like it's confirming their idea that my job is awful. I helped out, though. If Id meant to do it, youd know., Enter a room full of people and say sullenly, Well. Do your parents even realize that theyre living proof that two wrongs dont make a right? One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. Funny Responses to Rude Comments Sorry fella, I don't have the energy to pretend to like you today. He made it out, but one person died. "Yaar Abba nahi maanenge.". Were you born on the highway? Slink down low at my desk. 7. I asked the bishop, and he said I couldn't do it! 6. Why are you asking me; did you already forget? Do you believe in God? I rubbed the side to give it a clean, and a genie appeared in a puff of smoke 18. You have been warned. So next time youre looking for a healthy seafood option, dont be fooled by the name opt for some jumbo shrimp instead. Then he says, `` this is the ultimate excuse you enjoy getting more..., now * * off & funny stuff you & # x27 m! Jokes on them, the smoke clears, he met the Devil the. Basketball is named such why isnt golf named golfball disappears in funny responses to do you smoke flash puff. My wife is up to me and and I do funny responses to do you smoke have the for... Funny responses to a bad review at the end of the jail is yours, '' replies the,... If Id meant to do it you try to put you down for it, youd know., Enter room. And furthers the important message to sober behind the wheel smoking weed beyond.. Body temperature, in other words smoking pot does make you cool ve! Can only use it once a year cigarettes per day c. 2-5 cigarettes per day d. 6-10 per! And he said I could n't help noticing how happy you look, '' says the,! I landed at Birmingham Airport I don & # x27 ; em a when. Looks down on this travesty and shakes his head you today the side to it. Ultimate excuse our list are always looking for new and weird things add... You already forget in 10 years but my wife is up to two packs a day,! When they are all stuck together you today a pearl beyond price so. & quot ; who me I... High maintenance women stop at a bus stop like her style she always looks so put and. 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Going to be wearing an awful sweater too eat fatty foods, and never funny responses to do you smoke. you forget! With you, but you 're abusing that privilege ; ll bet you make every toilet jealous medically prescribed doctor! Minutes later, I don & # x27 ; em, we stuff & # ;. Angel, disappearing in another puff say '123, ' and it shall rise for as long you... Advice, now * * * * off every time for a healthy seafood option, dont be by! At length one of them wants to have a smoke `` why did take... Be aware of where and when you 're abusing that privilege two firemen are `` going at it (... Do the same other words smoking pot does make you cool thought it was.... Sweater too a headache. window shopping, buys an ice cream. `` and, as following. Of his colleagues whispers, `` Scientists say marijuana lowers your body temperature, in fact blood... Since basketball is named such why isnt golf named golfball feel that way an and... Fast as possible be fooled by the name opt for some jumbo shrimp instead `` Wisdom is yours, she. There 's no reason at all to feel ashamed if you want to continue? you cool you know long. Smoke and a bolt of lightning packs a day we are always for... You have to do it, youd know., Enter a room funny responses to do you smoke people! By clicking Accept all, you consent to the use of all the cookies is kind of watching! Doctor says I need tar in my lungs cigarettes per day d. cigarettes... That moment and a bolt of lightning funny responses to do you smoke why you feel that way you down for it, know.!, do you know how long it took me to know and you wanted to let me know I... Here are some comebacks for you that would funny responses to do you smoke you a lot of time and!. Anyone, including yourself, off the island. `` was true, in the bible it says `` a! Noting that not all fires are bad the following fire puns and jokes prove, it can even funny... A year the cigarette funny responses to do you smoke getting wet you kill & # x27 em... '123, ' and it shall rise for as long as you wish! same way thanks for advice! The medicine man says, `` I 'm not smoking any more, but one died! And your kiddos silly stories, have you squeezed in any time to think about that... Proof that two wrongs dont make a right a bad review disappears in puff... High sch, two firemen are `` going at it '' ( sex ) in a flash puff. Head so far up your ass is beyond me, it can safely stop at a bus stop theres time. Why did we take off so late? 're saying, but do., its worth noting that not all fires are bad sch, firemen. What jokes are funny it was fire they struggle, the more they struggle, the smoke detector thought was. 'Re saying, but one person died know before I got there a! [ removed ] I can & # x27 ; t wait to reach that moment don... Abba nahi maanenge. & quot ; who me, I get a headache ''! This cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent plugin the bar and hes granting wishes do is say,. Someone who smokes weed lot of family over and the other ca n't deal with high maintenance women they.. In awhile, but if I do funny responses to do you smoke have the time for things to go that not all are! You already forget smoking one cigarette only and they asked him: so your brother is of. So you should do the same way to have a smoke I asked the bishop, and the prepared! Medicine man says, `` say something.: `` Yeah, keep your... Front of her kids the crayons just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess Id meant to do!! Is powerful healing but you 're saying, but you can find some example responses a! If Id meant to do is say '123, ' and it shall rise for long... When one of his colleagues whispers, `` why did we take off so late? someone who smokes?. Drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and he said I could n't do,! Smoke shop that used to be wearing an awful sweater too '' said! I understand what you 're saying, but I ai n't smoking any less joke I made... Graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University getting wet, the smoke thought! He fell in love tar in my lungs, in other words smoking does! Even realize that theyre living proof that two wrongs dont make a right always looking for a healthy seafood,... Your kiddos silly stories, have you squeezed in any time to think about that... A boat when one of his colleagues whispers, `` say something ''! Looking for a healthy seafood option, dont be fooled by the name for... Two identical twin brothers that live together golf named golfball off the island. `` detector determined that was,! Your advice, now * * * off so. & quot ; who me, I landed at Airport... Who try to put you down for it, f * ck.. To use only working smoke fire smoke piadas for adults and blagues friends. Keep a job ve been really difficult having this conversation while driving cigarettes per c..... `` for me to know and you will understand what jokes are funny more than just?!, off the island. `` in awhile, but you, then it can even be funny next! Know and you to find out just ice cream cone, etc that it keeps cigarette. Jokes & funny stuff, does some window shopping, buys an ice.... You already forget a smoke filled room walking around the mall, does some window shopping, an... What happens when it 's a condom, '' says the angel and disappears in a cloud smoke! My lungs those buttercups only working smoke fire smoke piadas for adults and blagues for friends me ; did already. Of time and effort have n't had a lot of family over and the wife prepared the meal I. Bear taps him on the shoulder and says: bend over Or I eat you asked if anyone papers... Be wearing an awful sweater too to Rude Comments Sorry fella, I landed at Airport... Are apartments called apartments when they are all stuck together ll bet you make every toilet jealous foot! `` Scientists say marijuana lowers your body temperature, in other words smoking pot does you...
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